


Delusional

by TKSkulls



Series: Delusional [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underswap, F/M, Reader Is Not Chara, Reader Is Not Frisk, Reader is gender neutral
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-09-24 12:29:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9726929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TKSkulls/pseuds/TKSkulls
Summary: You usually hang out with your buddies Sans and Papyrus (your crush) on the weekends. This one however, you're sick and delusional with fever. Can your friends cheer you up? Will you make an ass of yourself? Probably.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I really wanted to write and Underswap Papyrus/reader story because, well, I love the guy! I don't know if I will turn this into a series or not. Let me know if you like it! As far as my other series Unexpected, I will continue that one. The past few days have been kinda shitty because my mom was in the hospital (she's fine now, yay!), I currently have a cold and some other stuff I won't bore you with the details. My apologies for not posting a chapter and I thank you for your patience. You guys rock! :) P.S. I decided to make the reader gender neutral because my other series stars a female. Don't wanna leave the fellas out!

When you first heard of monsters appearing from Mt. Ebott, you were excited! Your life was an average one, which equaled boring. So when a couple of skeletons move to your neck of the woods, you gave them a friendly welcome. You became close pals real quick. You did everything together; cards, video games, movies, the mall. You name it! Your weekends always consisted of you with your best buds. Except for this one.

You were lying in bed with the flu. One of the worst ones you had since you were little. You had plans to kick Papyrus’ butt in Mortal Kombat, but that would have to wait until next weekend. “Damn,” you said. “I was talking big game too. He’s not gonna believe that I’m sick.” You had done that partially to impress Pap. You wouldn’t admit it, but you had the biggest crush on the guy. You’d stare at him with longing eyes when he wasn’t looking. You loved getting texts from him. You thought about him while at work and always, always hoped he’d stop buy on one of his breaks from his numerous jobs. Speak of the devil, he just text you.

 

*DING* ready to get your ass handed to you?

Frankly, you wouldn’t mind if Pap had his hand on your ass, but now wasn’t the time to think about that. It took all your train of thought to type a coherent message.

 

Can’t. Got the flu

*DING* bullshit. you just don’t want to admit i’m the far superior gamer.

You rolled your eyes. Instead of arguing, you decided to prove it to him. You took a picture of yourself. You were sweaty, had a runny nose and a major case of bed head. You raise your middle finger as you pose for the camera.

 

*DING* _tibia_ honest, you look like shit.

Thanks. I try.

*DING* HUMAN! I, THE MAGNIFICENT SANS, HAVE RECEIVED NEWS THAT YOU ARE UNWELL. FEAR NOT! AS YOUR FRIEND, I SHALL DO WHAT I CAN TO LIFT YOUR SPIRITS! OH, AND PAPYRUS IS COMING TOO.

Alrighty.

 

It probably wasn’t the best idea to have them come over. You weren’t sure how their bodies worked, but you could get them sick too. Once Sans mentioned the idea however, it was hard to say no. That guy never failed at cheering you up. And having his cool stud of a brother tagging along only sweetened the pot. “Guess I’d better get ready.” you groaned as you got out of bed. You may be ill, but you still wanted to look presentable when company came. You dragged yourself into the shower and did the best job you could of washing your body with the little strength you had.

You stumble out with a towel wrapped around you. You were looking about your room for a tank top and a pair of shorts. You felt much too hot to wear anything else. _Ok_ , you thought, _I know they’re around here somewhere. Where the heck are my clothes? Wait, where’s my blanket for that matter?_ You looked at your bed and noticed nothing but sheets with a damp spot where your body previously was. The doorbell rang. _Ah hell, who is that?_ You could hear some pounding, but you weren’t sure if it was due to your flu or if there was a legitimate noise you were making. “Hang on,” you called, your voice hoarse. “I’ma comin’.” You open the door and see your best friends before you. Excited to see them, you dropped the towel.

“Sans! Paps! What are you guys doin’ here?” you asked, surprised.

“uh... we just text you sayin’ we was comin’ over remember?”

“Really? No, I don't.”

“it was fifteen minutes ago. um... any particular reason you’re...?”

“GREETINGS! IT IS I, THE MAGNIFIC- AHH!” Sans yelled as he covered his eyes. “GOOD GRACIOUS, HUMAN! WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES????!”

“Beats me.” you shrug. “I know I have a tank top and a pair of shorts around here somewhere. Maybe I left them in the laundry room…” You were about to step outside when Papyrus stops you. “oh no you don’t! you’re not goin’ outside like that. here.” He takes off his hoodie and tries to hand it to you, but you refuse his offer.

“Paaaps,” you whined. “It’s too hot to wear a hoodie.”

“kid it’s like thirty degrees.”

“Is it?” you questioned. You felt so hot you would’ve sworn it was eighty something.

“take the hoodie.” Pap ordered.

“I don’t wanna.” you groaned.

“i’m not jokin’ with ya. you’re clearly sick and standing naked with the door wide open is gonna make it worse. take. the. hoodie.”

“No!” you said. Normally you would gladly accept, but your body was burning. You wouldn’t touch that thing with a ten foot pole.

“either put it on or i’m gonna do it for you.” Papyrus warned.

“Oh I’d like to see you try, buddy!”

“HUMAN PLEASE WEAR THE HOODIE SO THAT I CAN MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH YOU!”

“Fine!” You snatch the garment from Pap’s hand and slide it over your body. It just barely covers your butt. “You’re lucky you’re so cute Sansy.” you said as you rubbed his blushing cheeks and kissed his forehead. “Well, come on in!” You stagger towards you couch where you flop from exhaustion. “Make yourselves at home!” Papyrus walked over to you and placed his hand on your forehead, quickly yanking it away.

“geez kid, you’re hot!”

“Why thank you,” you cooed. “You’re rather handsome yourself.” You saw him roll his eye sockets, but you also noticed his cheeks turned the slightest bit orange.

“PAPY… MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL UNDYNE. I’M REALLY WORRIED ABOUT THE HUMAN.”

“Aw Sans that’s so sweet. Is she coming over? Is Alphys joining her? I can make snacks. We’ll have a nice party, just us friends.” You got up from the couch, your legs wobbly.

“you’re not makin’ snacks.” Papyrus said.

“And why not?” you asked, your hands on your hips. He gently pushes you with his finger and down you go falling backwards onto your couch. “that’s why. sans, go ahead and call undyne.” He dialed the number and soon you heard a voice on the other line.

“H-Hiya Sans! What’s up?”

“UNDYNE! PAPY AND I CAME TO (Y/N) HOUSE AND THEY'RE SICK! THEY'RE SWEATY AND STUMBLING AROUND AND WAS NUDE! BUT PAPY MADE THEM WEAR HIS HOODIE AND…”

“W-wait, slow down. Wh-what happened?” she asked. Papyrus grabbed the phone from his brother to explain. “they’re sick and actin’ weird.” “PLEASE HELP!”

“Guys I’m a scientist, not a doctor. I-i mean I-’m a d-doctor but not that k-kind of doctor. I have a doctorate b-but it’s not the same thing.”

You tug the hem of Papyrus' t-shirt. He looks down and raises a brow bone at you. “Let me talk to her.” you said. He shrugs and passes the phone to you. “Undyne! Hey, hey Undyne!”

“H-hi (Y/N). The guys said you’re sick. Do you h-have proper med-medication at your place?”

“Undyne, what do you call a fish without an eye?” you asked.

“Um, I don’t know. What?”

“A fsh!” you start bursting into laughter over your terrible joke. “I’m just kidding. You should come over! And bring Alphys! We’ll have fun and-” Papyrus yanked the phone away from you. “ignore all that. what should we do?”

“Do they have c-cough medicine nearby?” Undyne asked.

Pap looked around the living room when his eye sockets landed on a bottle on the table. It was half empty. “criminy, how much of this stuff did you drink?” he asked you.

“I dunno. I’ve been sipping from it off and on since last night.” you replied.

“Well, th-that would explain the o-odd behavior. Make sure (Y/N) doesn’t drink anymore. Some of those brands contain high levels of alcohol. Have them sleep it off and some s-soup will help.”

“thanks.” Papyrus hung up the phone and gave it to Sans. “bro, head to the store and get some soup. i’ll stay with the human.”

“WOULDN’T IT BE BETTER IF YOU WENT SINCE YOU CAN TELEPORT THERE?”

“you know what kinda food they like, not to mention how to cook it. i could be there for an hour.”

“YOU’RE RIGHT! HUMAN, WAIT HERE FOR MY RETURN! AND TRY NOT TO ACT ANY STRANGER THAN YOU ALREADY ARE!”

Once Sans was gone, Papyrus lifted you up to your feet and put your arm over his shoulders. “c’mon, let’s get you in bed.”

“Are you gonna join me?” you winked.

“oh geez… where the hell is your blanket?” he asked. After he said that, Sans walked back in with something in his hands. “HUMAN, WHY WAS THIS OUTSIDE IN THE SNOW?”

“Oh that’s what I did with it! I was feeling so hot I put it outside so it would get cold! Aren’t I smart? Give it here.”

“no!” Pap interjected. “you, bed. sans, store.”

“Oh Pap, you’re acting like a grump.”

“i’m ‘actin’ like a grump’ because my friend is sick and loaded on cough syrup and i just happened to be worried. so pardon me while i act grumpy.”

“Aw don’t be mad. It’s nice to know you care about me.”

“course i do. why wouldn’t i?”

That made you smile. Sure, he only cared about you as a friend. But it was still nice to hear. “C’mon.” you patted your bed. “Let’s cuddle.”

“what?” he asked.

“Let’s cuddle.” you repeated. “You. Me. Bed. Cuddle.”

“i dunno kid…”

“What, you chicken?”

“no!”

“Then c’mon! We can cuddle til Sans gets back. ‘Sides, it’ll make me feel better."

Papyrus sighed and laid down next to you. The two of you had never been so close before. Taking advantage of the moment, you rolled onto your side and clung to his t-shirt. You laid your thigh on top of his femurs.

“I like you Papy.” you sighed.

“i uh, like you too.”

“No I mean I reallllly like you. Like , like like you. Wouldn’t that be double like? Why don’t people say that instead? Words are confusing…” You were starting to nod off, the cough syrup taking it’s final toll on you. “Tell me you like me back Papy.”

“kid…”

“It’s ok if you don’t mean it. I just wanna hear it at least once.”

“Aw kid, i like you too. Like, double like you or whatever you said. you’re good to my bro, you like my jokes, you’re good at games. you’re just fun to be around. i... i haven’t been this happy since we got to the surface.”

…

“kid?”

“Zzzzzzzz”

Papyrus couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. He wasn’t sure how much you had heard, or would even remember given the circumstances. He was never very good at showing his feelings towards someone. Sans usually got on his case about that. “YOU MUST CONFRONT YOUR ULTIMATE FEELINGS BROTHER!” Sans words echoed in Pap’s skull. “YOU CAN’T KEEP DENYING YOUR AFFECTION TOWARDS THE HUMAN!” And he was right. Paps was nuts about you. He always text you to make sure you got home safe, he’d pop by at your job when you weren’t noticing. He even paid that jerk who keyed your car a visit. He never fully thought about his actions until now, as you were lying beside him.

As you nuzzled closely to Papyrus’ ribcage, he let out a sigh and wrapped both his arms around you. One hand was rubbing your back while the other stroked your hair. “ah, (Y/N)... whaddya doin’ to me?”

  



	2. Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You realize you made an idiot of yourself if front of your crush. Will he ever let you live it down?

You wake up dazed and confused. What time was it? What day was it? ...why were you wearing a hoodie? This one isn’t even yours...  _ Oh no _ you thought. Your memory was foggy but some of it was picture clear. Your buddies came over to check on you. You answered the door stark naked. “Uuggghhh!” you groan in frustration. How could you do that? What made you do it?  _ The cough syrup! _ You exclaimed mentally. You were kicking yourself for not following its directions properly. If you had, you wouldn’t have scarred your best friends for life by exposing yourself like that. Poor Sans, you’ve been wanting to explain to him how the human anatomy worked, but not like that. And Pap? He’d never let you live this down. You were gonna hear him crack jokes about your weird, human body for months. Alright, time to face the music.The sooner you get this over with the better.

You peeked around the corner to see if you were alone. You weren’t. Papyrus was sitting on your couch, watching tv.  _ He’s so cute… stop it!  _ You mentally chastise yourself. Now wasn’t the time to act all lovey dovey. You had to confront him. But how? This was so embarrassing! This was worse than the time you had an accident at your best friend’s sleepover in the third grade. And that was your friend! This was Pap! You practically loved the guy.  _ Whoa whoa whoa, let’s not get hasty here  _ you told yourself. _ Sure he’s smart, funny, and cute but you don’t practically love him. _

“if you’re just gonna stand there and stare at me, you need to go back to bed.”  Fuck! He saw you! When did he notice? Did he notice all the other times you stared at him too? You swallow what little pride you have left and walk out. You sit on the far side of the couch, to nervous to look your friend in the face.

“how ya holdn’ up?”

“I don’t have a headache anymore and I’m not as congested, so good I guess. How long was I out?”

“five hours give or take.”

“Shit.”

“maybe next time you won’t chug cough syrup straight from the bottle.”

“Yeah… um, about earlier-”

Papyrus shrugs.  “it’s ok, kid. you don’t have to explain.”

“I don’t?”

“nope.”

“That’s it? No jokes or wisecracks?”

“i’d love to get under your skin but forgetaboutit. you were delirious. if i’m gonna crack a joke, i’ll do it when you’re sober. i’m a skeleton with standards.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that. Where’s Sans?”

“makin’ ya a get well basket. i hung around to make sure you’re ok.”

“Aw that’s sweet of him. Was Undyne here? I remember hearing her voice.”

“nah, just talked to her on the phone.”

“Did… Did I make a fish joke?”

“yep.”

“Oh geez. Did I do anything else embarrassing?” 

Pap hesitated before he answered. He wasn’t sure if he should mention the little talk you had while in bed. You clearly didn’t remember it, even if you did, you were in a drug induced state. You probably hadn’t meant it anyway.  “nah.”  He finally said.

“Good. So what are you watching?”

“garbage.”  On screen was that Napstaton guy. Pap wasn’t crazy about him but Sans sure was. You couldn’t help but laugh. It was a good thing his brother wasn’t here or you’d have to listen to another debate on why that microwave with legs was so cool and popular.

“I got an idea. Why don’t you pop to your place and grab some games? I still gotta kick your ass.”

“now i know you’re still sick. you think you can beat me.”

“I  _ know _ I can beat you.”

“you wanna make a little wager on that?”

“Yeah! As a matter of fact I do!”

“alright. loser buys the winner muffet’s for a month.”

“You’re on!”

“shake on it.”

Papyrus reached his hand out to you. You had a flashback to when you first met. The sound of his voice sent chills down your spine. It still does. You grabbed his hand and gave a hearty shake. You noticed he didn’t let go as soon as you were done, it felt nice. And awkward. The two of you stood there about five seconds longer than necessary. You probably would’ve kept at it if a cough hadn’t interrupted you. “i’ll be back in a few. and i’m takin’ this with me.”  He grabs the cough syrup and disappears. 

Pap arrived at his house and began unhooking their game system and packing.  He was so ready to teach you a lesson. You’d been talking smack all week and now it was time to show you who the champion was. As he was gathering the games, he thought about what happened earlier. He was starting to doubt if he did the right thing by not telling you the whole truth. His thoughts were interrupted by his brother.

“PAPYRUS? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOME? THE HUMAN CAN’T BE LEFT ALONE IN THEIR CURRENT CONDITION! WHAT IF THEY TRY TO LEAVE THE HOUSE NUDE AGAIN?”

“relax bro. kid’s fine. And i snagged the cough syrup before leaving. i only popped by to grab some games.”

“OH. WELL SINCE THEY’RE SOMEWHAT BACK TO NORMAL, DID YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO TALK?”

“about what?”

“YOU KNOW WHAT! YOUR ULTIMATE FEELING FOR (Y/N) AND THEIR FEELINGS FOR YOU.”

“oh that. nah.” 

“PAPYRUS! YOU WERE THERE ALL DAY! HOW COULD YOU NOT-”

“they were sleeping all day. and how are you so certain they like me anyway?”

“MY DATING MANUAL STATES AS SUCH.” Sans said matter of factly.

“you mean that teen magazine?”

“THE VERY SAME! I GAVE THE LOVE QUIZ TO BOTH YOU AND (Y/N) AND THE RESULTS DON’T LIE! YOU TWO HAVE THE HOTS FOR EACH OTHER!”

“bro, that’s just a thing for bored high school kids. it doesn’t apply to me and-”

“NOT ONLY THAT, THE HUMAN HAS TOLD ME SO.”

Papyrus dropped the games and gawked at Sans in disbelieve.  “what?” 

“OK THEY DIDN’T  _ VERBALLY  _ TELL ME. BUT I CAN SEE IT IN THEIR EYES! YOU SHOULD SEE (Y/N) WHEN YOU’RE NOT AROUND. I JAPED THEM REALLY GOOD ONCE! I TOLD THEM I HAD A PICTURE OF YOU SHIRTLESS AND THEY DEMANDED TO SEE IT! THE LOOK ON THEIR FACE WAS PRICELESS!”

Pap was stunned. What you said was true. It wasn’t the syrup or the flu talking. You had genuine feelings for him. Now he felt like shit. Instead of talking to you about it, he ignored the whole thing like a coward. He had to tell you now. Sans noticed how quiet his brother had gotten.

“PAPYRUS? WHAT’S WRONG?”

“(y/n) said something to me after you left. they said they like me. a lot.”

Sans gasped. “AND YOU DIDN’T RECIPROCATE YOUR LOVE?”

“i did. but they passed out on me. they don’t remember what they said and i didn’t remind them.”

“WHAT? WHY NOT?”

“they were whacked out on that stuff sans! i didn’t know they _actually_  felt that way.”

“WELL YOU DO NOW! YOU GET RIGHT BACK THERE AND PROFESS YOUR LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER!”

“will you stop sayin’ that?”  Papyrus was blushing now.

“WHAT, LOVE?”

“yes!”

“NO! LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!”

“sans!”

“YOU LOVE THE HUMAN! YOU LOVE THE HUMAN! YOU LOVE THE HUMAN!”

“the whole neighborhood is gonna hear you!”

“I WILL DESIST ONCE YOU ADMIT IT.”

“aw c’mon bro. don’t make me say it.”

“SAY IT OR I’LL SHOUT IT OUT THE WINDOW!”

“you wouldn’t dare…”

Sans marched over to the nearest window and raised it up. He took a deep breath when Papyrus slammed it shut.  “alright alright already! i love (y/n). ya happy now?”

“I’M SATISFIED, FOR THE TIME BEING. NOW GO OVER THERE AND TELL THEM!”

“what if they don’t feel the same way as i do?”

“THEY DO BROTHER, YOU MUST TRUST ME ON THIS.”

“if ya say so. i’ll be back later.”

“GOOD! NOW I CAN GET BACK TO MAKING THAT BASKET.”

“ey bro, remember not to work a  _ skele _ ton.”

“I’M GOING TO IGNORE THAT!”

You were sitting on the couch waiting for Papyrus to come back. You felt uneasy but couldn’t put your finger on as to why. It wasn't your flue. Wait, you were forgetting something, but what? You remember answering the door, you remember the phone call, Pap brought you to bed and… Boom. That’s when it dawned on you. You spilled your guts out about how you felt about him. Not only that, you wanted him to repeat it back to you! What were you gonna do now? While in the middle of your mental breakdown, lo behold, you know who shows up. You scream not only out of surprise, but shame.

“Aahhhh!”

“what? what’s wrong?”

“Huh? Nothing, nothing. Just shocked me is all.”

“did you forget i was comin’ back?”

“No, no. I was just deep in thought.”

“oh yeah? ‘bout what?”

Shit. You couldn’t tell him about your crisis. He obviously doesn’t feel the same way about you. That’s why he didn’t tell you what you said. He wants to pretend nothing happened. He’s staring at you, waiting for a response. Think of something quick!

“I was thinking about… turtles.”

“turtles?”  Papyrus asked, not buying it.

“Um, well not just turtles in general I meant one turtle. The mock turtle to be precise.” 

“the mock turtle.”  he said, crossing his arms.

“Yeah. Guy’s half turtle and half cow. I mean, pfft, what’s up with that?”  _ Oh good Lord, something please kill me. I don’t care what. A burglar, a tornado, spontaneous combustion. Anything to stop me from making an ass of myself! I want it quick so I never have to look at this man again. _

“ok... you ready to start?”

“What? Oh the games! Yeah, I’m ready!”

“how ‘bout we make our wager a little more interesting?”

“Alright, how much more interesting?”

“loser also has to tell the winner a secret. something they don’t already know.”

You gulped. You really needed to win now. You couldn’t afford to lose one of your best friends because you got carried away with some cough syrup and said things you shouldn't have. Pap meant everything to you. You didn’t want to risk things over this. You were determined more than ever to beat him. You’d rather keep your feelings bottled up and forget this mess than be rejected. "Deal."

Your hands were gonna be sore in the morning. You never clenched to something so hard in your life. During normal game play, you and Pap would talk, or at least tell some jokes. Things were way too quiet for your liking.  _ Did he have something to hide?  _ You wondered. You’ve never seen him be so serious about something, well, except his brother. Both of you were down to your last lives when suddenly, your controller flew out of you hand. It was covered in an orange aura, hovering above you.

“Hey no fair! You’re cheating!”

“ah ah ah. we never agreed that i couldn’t use my magic.”

“We never agreed that you could use it either!”

“c’mon, where’s your sense of humor?”

You were jumping hopelessly to reach the controller. Every time you got near it, Pap raised it a little higher into the air.  _ Two can play this game. _ While he was focused on the tv, you went for his ribs and started tickling him.

“nyeh hahahahaha! kid cut it out! hahahahaha!”

That did it! He dropped both controllers as he tried to fight you off. You dove for yours and mashed the buttons. With a three hit combo, you win the game.

“Yes! I did it! I actually did it! In your face Papyrus!” You began to dance around the room, enjoying your victory, when you notice Pap is still laughing.

“What’s so funny? I beat you!”

“nothin’ you just look cute dancin’ around like that.”

Your heart skipped a beat. Papyrus thinks you’re cute? “Huh?” you said, confused.

“guess that means i gotta tell you my secret. but i was gonna do it regardless if i lost or won. i love you, (y/n).”

You jaw dropped. You didn’t hear that. He didn’t say that. This is all some weird dream caused by the cough syrup.”Y-you l-love me? Like,  _ in  _ love?”

“yeah.”  he replied. Still smiling.

You ran to Papyrus and jump into his arms, wrapping your legs around his waist. He immediately put his hands on the small of your back. You couldn't believe it. He felt the same way! 

“Oh Pap, I love you too.”

“i know.”

“What?!” you exclaim. “Put me down!” He does so but still has his hands on you, only now they’re on your hips.

“What do you mean you know?”

“you told me earlier. i said the same thing but you passed out on me.”

You were stunned. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“i had to be sure. you were, and still are, sick and out of your mind. sans filled me in when i went to get the games though.”

“Sans? How does he know?”

Papyrus shrugged.  “just does. he’s a lot smarter than people give him credit for.”

“Yeah. Yeah he really is.” You wrap your arms around Paps neck and lean in for a hug. He pulls you closer to him. Even though you were still sick, this had to be the best day of your life. You couldn’t remember the last time you were this happy. “So uh, what do we do now?” you asked.

“we can play some more video games.”  he offered.

“I don’t trust you. Let’s watch a movie.”

“fine by me.”

The two of you cuddle on the couch, watching the opening credits roll, when Pap whispers something in your ear.  “so sans tells me you got pretty excited when he told you he had a pic of me topless.”  You groaned. “You’re not gonna let me live that down, are you?”

“nope.” 


	3. Dating... Start?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans bagged himself a date. Only problem is, Papyrus. In the past, anyone who showed interest in Sans got scared off before any type of relationship could take place. Can you help?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly didn't think I was gonna add another chapter. Then this idea popped into my head so, why not?

You’re relationship with Papyrus, really hasn’t changed that much. You still hang out; playing video games, going to the movies. Only now, there’s kissing and don’t see Sans as much. You felt a prang of guilt when you thought about him. You couldn’t help but think you were stealing Pap away from his brother. They only had each other, until you came along. Sans was always cheery when he saw you, but you felt the need to talk to him anyway; at least to clear the air. The only problem would be finding time alone with him. If he wasn’t at work, he was with you and/or Papyrus or with Alphys. _I guess I could just ask to hang out with him before Pap gets off work._ You thought. You were about to text him when he contacted you first.

 

*DING* HUMAN! I REQUIRE YOUR ASSISTANCE!

Sure thing. What do you need?

*DING* THIS IS A MISSION OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE! AND IT CALLS FOR SECRECY. ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THE TASK?

 

_Secrecy? What secret could Sans have? The guy was an open book._

 

My lips are sealed.

*DING* GOOD! MEET ME AFTER WORK!

 

Well, sounds like you’re going on an adventure today! It’d be nice to get some alone time with Sans. You couldn’t help but wonder what favor he needed that he didn’t want anyone to know about. Maybe he was planning some kind of surprise. He loved doing that. You drove over to the brother’s house when Sans opened the door before you could knock. “QUICKLY, HUMAN! TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE!” he yanks you inside and closes the door. He peeks out the window, making sure no one else was outside.

“Dude, what’s with you?” you ask.

“WHATEVER DO YOU MEAN, (Y/N)?”

“You’re acting like you’re being spied on. What’s this favor you need?”

“I NEED YOU TO GO OUT WITH PAPY TONIGHT.”

“Ok? I’m not sure how that’s a favor, or why I need to keep it a secret.”

“THE SECRET IS… I HAVE A DATE.” Sans confessed.

“Oh Sans!” you yell, grabbing him into a hug. You lift him up and start spinning around the room in excitement. “I’m so happy for you!”

“HUMAN! I APPRECIATE YOUR HUG OF FRIENDSHIP BUT PLEASE PUT ME DOWN!”

“Sorry. Man, this is so awesome! But, why keep it a secret?”

“BECAUSE EACH TIME I TRIED DATING IN THE PAST, PAPYRUS INTERFERED. ONCE I WOULD TELL HIM, THEY WOULD CANCEL OR MAKE EXCUSES NOT TO SEE ME. THIS IS THE FIRST DATE I HAD IN MONTHS!”

“What? What would Pap do?”

“THREATEN THEM, I SUPPOSE.”

“Why does he do it?”

“HE STILL TREATS ME LIKE A CHILD! HE THINKS I CAN’T TAKE CARE OF MYSELF WHICH ISN’T TRUE. I WAS THE RESPONSIBLE ONE WHEN  WE LIVED IN THE UNDERGROUND. HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO TRUST MY JUDGEMENT BUT… HE DOESN’T.”

The look on Sans’ face crushed you. A small part of you understood why your boyfriend would scare off potential suitors. Sans was often naive and tried to see the good in everyone. But that didn’t mean he was stupid. Hell, he knew you and Pap had feelings for each other when neither of you admitted it. You probably wouldn’t be dating now if it weren’t for Sans. He deserved a person to share his life with. And this was just a night out.

“PLEASE, DON’T TELL PAPY ABOUT MY DATE.”

“Don’t worry buddy, your secret’s safe with me. So, you just need him out of the house?”

“EXACTLY! KEEP HIM DISTRACTED AND OCCUPIED! IF HE ASKS ABOUT ME, CHANGE THE SUBJECT!”

“Did you come up with an alibi in case he sees you before the big date?”

“YES! I’M GOING TO TELL HIM I’M SPARRING WITH ALPHYS! IT’S UNNECESSARY NOW THAT WE LIVE IN PEACE ON THE SURFACE, BUT IT’S STILL FUN! DO YOU THINK HE’LL BELIEVE ME?”

“Yeah, if it’s something you normally do, he’s got no reason to doubt you.”

“I FEEL BAD FOR BEING SO DECEPTIVE…”

“Usually I would try to convince you to tell Pap. But given the circumstances, I think you’re better off lying. So, who’s the lucky person you’re seeing tonight?”

“SAMANTHA.” he sighed.

“You got a pic of her?”

Sans pulled out his phone. After searching through his photos, he passed it to you. It showed a blonde woman with dimples. She looked sweet, except for the hoard of guns she was standing in front of. “She’s cute,” you started “but uh, what’s with the guns?”

“OH SHE’S NOT DANGEROUS, (Y/N). SHE JUST COLLECTS THEM. SHE’S ACTUALLY VERY NICE.”

“How’d you meet?”

“I WAS SHOPPING FOR MY NEW TACO RECIPE WHEN SHE SUGGESTED A SEASONING TO USE. SHE EVEN TOLD ME OTHER DISHES I COULD MAKE! WE WERE TALKING AND, COULDN’T STOP. WE MUST’VE BEEN IN THE STORE FOR 45 MINUTES. I GAVE HER MY NUMBER AND SHE ASKED ME OUT SHORTLY AFTERWARDS.”

“Oh, a girl that knows what she wants and goes for it. I like that. Where are you guys going?”

“OUT TO DINNER. THERE’S A PLACE THAT SERVES SAMANTHA SWEARS THEY HAVE THE BEST ENCHILADAS! WHATEVER THOSE ARE.”

“I think you’ll like ‘em. Can I meet her?”

“NO! WELL, NOT YET ANYWAY. JUST KEEP PAPYRUS BUSY. NOW, I MUST PREPARE FOR MY DATE! WHAT SHOULD I WEAR? WHAT DO HUMAN GIRLS LIKE?”

You shrug. “Depends. Humans differ from one another. Just be yourself, pal. Most people appreciate honesty. Be cool, and have fun.”

“THE MAGNIFICENT SANS IS ALWAYS COOL!” he interjected.

* * *

 

You arrive home and leave a message for Pap asking him to pick up some grub and come over. You had a surprise waiting for him. Thing is though, you haven’t thought your surprise out. _I gotta keep Pap distracted, but with what?_ You paced about your apartment, thinking. “I got it!” you shouted. “Me and Pap haven’t had a romantic date. So I’ll make one!” You rush to the store to buy candles, chocolates, and rose petals. You decided to go the extra mile and get some wine as well. Once back home, you chill the wine and spread rose petals all over the place, even leading to your bedroom. You couldn’t help but pause. Ever since the two of you shared your bed, you couldn’t help but wonder what sex with Papyrus would be like. He had a tongue, but did he have… other parts? “How do skeletons have sex anyway?” you ask yourself.

Speaking of whic, did Sans have protection with him? You doubted he would go so far on the first date, but hey, it happens. You decide to call him and ask, better safe than sorry.

“WHAT IS IT HUMAN? DOES MY BROTHER SUSPECT ANYTHING? HAS THE PLAN GONE AWRY?”

“He’s not here yet. I wanted to ask if you had any protection on you.”

“YOU MEAN MY BATTLE BODY? I WOULD HARDLY THINK THAT WOULD BE PROPER DATE ATTIRE.”

“No, I mean the kind of protection you need in case you and Samantha wanna fool around.”

“I DON’T FOLLOW.”

 _Oh for Pete’s sake._ “A condom, Sans. Do you have a condom?”

There was a silence over the phone. You immediately regretted calling him because he clearly hadn’t thought about this. “OH MY GOD! I DON’T HAVE ONE! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? SAMANTHA IS WAITING FOR ME! I’M NOT READY FOR SKELETON BABIES!”

“Calm down! Just breathe ok?”

“WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THIS SOONER? SHE’LL BE SO ENRAPTURED WITH CHARM AND COOLNESS, SHE WON’T BE ABLE TO RESIST ME!”

“You don’t _have_ to have sex on the first date. If she asks to go back to your place, just tell her you’re tired or have work in the morning. No biggie.”

“BUT I ALREADY LIED TO PAPY! I DON’T WANT TO CONTINUE THIS WEB OF DISHONESTY!”

“Sans, relax. Look, maybe I’m wrong and she won’t want to. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to freak you out like that. Just go back to your date ok? Worry about that stuff later.” You hang up and sit on the couch. You let out a sigh, your head in your hands. “I can’t believe I did that!”

“i can’t believe you did that either.” a familiar voice replied. _Shit._ You look up to see your boyfriend staring down at you. “Hi, sweetie.” you said innocently, pretending the previous conversation you had didn't happen.

“where’s sans?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.” He inches closer, looking you dead in the eyes. “where. is. sans.”  You inhale through your nose, getting the courage to be blunt wit Papyrus. “I can’t tell you.”

“w h a t.”

“I promised Sans I wouldn’t tell you, so I won’t.”

“you can’t keep that from me! he’s my brother and i deserve to know!”

“I can, and I will. He didn’t tell me where his date would be anyway.”

“who's he with?”

“Pap-”

“he just made you promise not to tell me he was on a date right? did he say anything about who it was with?”

“Well, technically no, but-”

“i can at least have a name, right?”

“...Samantha.”

“have you met her?”

“No.”

“how long has this been going on?”

“They met I guess a couple weeks ago. Tonight is their first date.”

“so they haven’t… done anything?”

“I highly doubt it. Is that what you’re worried about?”

“i just don’t want him getting hurt.”

“I get it Pap, really. But you can’t hover over Sans’ shoulder all your lives. He’s gotta make his own decisions.”

“his judgement isn’t the best when it comes to people, especially humans.”

“Did I tell you about the time I went to live with a boyfriend?”

“kid, i hardly think this is time for a story.”

“Shut up and listen. Anyway, I was nineteen and met this guy, right? We talk for a bit, hit it off and realized we wanted more to see each other. Trouble was, if my parents knew about him, there’s no way they’d be ok with it. So I snuck out to see him. One night, I crashed at his place and-”

“wait, wait. why would your folks have a problem with this guy?”

“Well, at the time my parents were kinda strict on me. They didn’t want me dating older men. Anyone six years and up was “too old” in their opinion. And this guy was thirty-five.”

“you shacked up with a guy sixteen years older than you?”

“Hey, I was young alright? And it was legal so don’t judge me. Anyway, the plan was just to spend the night and one of his buddies would take me home in the morning.”

“why couldn’t he take you home?”

“No car. Now stop interrupting me. Well, the day came and went and his buddy was a no show. Meanwhile, my mom is asking what the deal is because I told her I was staying with a neighborhood friend. I knew that if I told her the truth, I would never hear the end of it. So, I had two choices. I could go home, and never see this man again. Or I could move out and stay with him. And I did just that. Well, as you can imagine, my parents were NOT happy about it. When they met him, they could tell he was no good for me. Mom asked me if this was what I wanted and I said yes. And I lived with him for two months.”

“... you done?”

“Yeah.”

“what the hell was the point of that story?”

“My parents knew this guy was a loser, and were right. But they didn’t stop me from moving out or tried to convince me to break it off. They knew I had to see for myself what a bum he was. And eventually, I did. Dating him was a learning experience and now I know what I want and don’t want in a relationship. It’s the same with Sans. He needs to experience dating and relationships to find out what he likes. You can’t influence him in anyway, or at least you shouldn’t. Do you get it now?”

“yeah. i do.”

“Besides it’s only _one_ date. For all we know, they could be bored; they can each go home and never see each other again.”

“what if he likes her?”

“Then eventually we’ll meet her.”

“what is _i_ don’t like her?”

“You be civil and keep your nose socket out of their business. If push comes to shove, we could always sick Alphys on her.”

Papyrus smiled at that, the first time since he came over. He grabs your hand and presses it against his teeth. “i still can’t believe you said that shit over the phone.” You groan. “I know! I hope I didn’t ruin his date! He was so excited about it.”

“you think they’re havin’ fun?”

“More than likely. Say, speaking of date, we’re supposed to be on one. A romantic one, I might add.”

“what’s the occasion?”

“Do we need one? C’mon, let’s eat.”

You sit to enjoy your meal when you’re question came back into your head. “Hey Pap?” you asked. “yeah?” he replied. “How _do_ you guys have sex?” He brings his hand to his chin, pretending to be in deep thought. He then looks at you, sensing your anticipation. He finally answers with “you’ll find out.” and winks at you.

* * *

 

You wake up on the couch, realizing you and Papyrus had fallen asleep while watching a movie. You hear your phone ring and reach to answer, not checking to see who’s calling.

“Hello?”

“HUMAN! I HAVE EXCELLENT NEWS!” You scurry off the couch and run to your bedroom, trying not to wake your boyfriend. “Dude, tell me everything.”

“SAMANTHA AND I HAD THE BEST TIME! WE HAD DINNER AND SHE WAS RIGHT! THOSE ENCHILADAS WERE THE BEST! EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NOTHING TO COMPARE THEM TO.”

You giggled. “What else did you do?”

“WE SAW A MOVIE AND GOT SOME ICE CREAM! THEN WE WALKED IN THE PARK AND LOOKED AT THE STARS AND THEN… AND THEN-”

“And then what?”

“SHE KISSED ME, (Y/N). SHE KISSED ME AND IT FELT SO NICE.”

“Alright Sans! Remind me to give you a high five when I see you. So, I take it you had a good time?”

“MOST CERTAINLY! IT WAS MUCH BETTER THAN MY DATE WITH CHARA!”

“Think there’s a second date in the future?”

“OH YES! I ASKED HER IF WE COULD GO OUT AGAIN NEXT WEEK. ...DOES PAPY SUSPECT ANYTHING?”

You turn your head towards the doorway and see Papyrus standing there. He’s shaking his head. “You’re secret's safe buddy, don’t worry.”

“DO YOU THINK HE SHOULD MEET HER?”

“Eh, wait til the fourth or fifth date.”

“I HOPE HE LIKES HER.”

“If she’s as nice as you say she is, he probably will. Hey, I’m gonna hit the sack. Have a good night Sans.”

“I ALREADY DID.”

* * *

 

 

 


End file.
